Howdy. Just a quick couple of notes because my fingers are strangely twitchy tonight--not twitchy enough for longhand, but enough to make me want to type.
( Here's the lowdown )


But anyhow, life goes on. Tomorrow I'll be cleaning and disinfecting the apartment (sick roommate = Leah turning into Mommy Dearest for a few days--including making her take her temperature!), grocery shopping some more and hopefully a little bit of baking and reading.

Take care all.

( TMI on health or the lack thereof )

In other health news, I'm feeling unmotivated and blargh again, but only in terms of my film. I've begun thinking about Wake again (yikes) and have come to the conclusion that what happened to Neil Gaiman and the Graveyard Book is what is happening to me:

"In 1985 or 1986, watching my son Mike wheel his tricycle around the graveyard next door to our house that we used because we didn't have a garden, I thought of an idea for a story about a small boy who wandered into a graveyard and was raised by dead people. Then, deciding I wasn't a good enough writer, I didn't write it.

Over the years I'd pick up a scrap of paper and try to write a scene from near the beginning, conclude I wasn't good enough yet, and put it aside.
Recently I came to the conclusion that I wasn't getting any better. So I wrote a short story called "The Witch's Headstone", which will probably be chapter 4 or 5 of the book.
And today I finished writing Chapter One of The Graveyard Book, and it's a real book. I know it's a real book because there are all sorts of things I don't quite know yet, and I can't wait to find them out.
Happiness.”

-- Neil Gaiman 02/15/07



Wake has been started and restarted, and rethought and reworked, and thrown away completely and taken back up again because it's a story that just won't let go of me. It's a story that just wants to be told, and I guess it wants me to tell it. I can almost hear it being told to me: I just have to listen really, really hard for it.

Am I good enough to write down what I hear? Am I good enough to tell others what has been told to me? Maybe all these false starts of Wake, all these first drafts, are just indications of how good a writer I was at the time. Maybe it's taken me till now to realize that I am actually getting better, and that all these false starts were what were making me better.

Anyway, off to edit with Wendy and pretend I care about the thesis.

More for lupabitch than anyone, but I'm now greatly anticipating this too! I'd love to read this.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/03/25/anticipating-the-launch-of-ecopsychology/

From lupabitch:

As an exercise, I shall reduce myself to a mess of labels. How many labels without explanation can I come up for myself in five minutes?


( Not very many, it seems. )

Interesting exercise though. I wonder how much of the picture is there?

Because memes are fun. And this is the first time I've gotten really good results for this iPod thing.


RULES:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, device, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the ‘Next’ button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.
4. Share.



( Cut for the weary )

Apparently Tuesday's inspection of our fire alarm system in our building was moved to today. Before nine am.

That's good for the nerves: getting woken up after a rather sleepless night to a fire alarm sounding every five minutes.

I had to hie me hither to Starbucks for breakfast, and while there I managed to get my reading for my western class done. Then I wandered over to Terra to see if I could get Interwebs and get on iChat. Complications ensued, and I ended up in the freezing 14th floor lounge with Shane and no one to talk to. At least I got halfway through the book. So far, I find it rather amusing.

I went to the library then to thaw out and continued reading my other book, which I finished. Then I managed to find my weary way home to a sandwich and the first cup of tea of the day to calm my nerves somewhat.


But now for a small rant on ( the importance of home. )

Well, school has started again; even if I've only had one class so far, I'm still not entirely convinced this is going to be a good semester. The last semester.

Urgh.

( More nattering... )

... Remains much the same.

This week, I've been mainly working and reading, and I started a couple new crochet projects. Unfortunately, my co-worker informed me that I'm going to start getting my hours cut down from 20 to 12, starting the week of the 19th. Fab birthday present, huh?

I'll still be able to manage to pay my various bills and eat, and save up a little, but now the teeny tiny excess cash I've gotten (unfortunately) used to is to be considered, henceforth, nil. I was kind of looking forward to being able to work more too. Oh well.

On the bright side, I guess this will leave me more time to do thesis stuff, and more job-hunting once the semester's over.

Luckily this week I was able to pick up some hours in the Res. Life office, manning the phones while everyone was at the huge staff meeting, and tomorrow manning the phones while the main secretary is out sick. Sweet! Even though I had been looking forward to having a couple of mornings off, I need to hoard any extra bit of cash I can.

I saw Elisa in the Career Services office today, who was very nice and made me feel quite more comfortable with myself. I have a task: three resumes, showing my 1) mad office skillz, 2) my mad writing skillz, and 3) my largely non-existant film skillz. Good first step to managing the mayhem that is graduation and the mentality of oh-crap-how-am-I-gonna-live that descends on me whenever I think about these things.

Anyway, I'm working in Res. Life tomorrow morning, and Mullahy in the afternoon. Jim will be driving to Miami (yikes!) so I will probably bring my one crochet project to finish and maybe even finish The Prestige tomorrow.

I have a ton of books coming in the mail soon, and now that I can reread things, I can get down to business. Heh.

Oh. Got the urge to dive back into my Histories of Middle Earth and finish the entire series (and get my grubby claws on Histories 10--12 and the new History of the Hobbit. Ohhhhh....)

Oh! Have an even stronger urge to splurge my BN gift card on a shiny new copy of The Silmarillion. After all these years of it being missing, and a second edition out, I believe it is high time it found it's way back into my arms.

Some generous soul out there has given us the secret to what was once un-attainable:

Homemade Girl Scout Cookie Recipes


My baking life has just begun anew. Mwahahaha!

... Has been pretty quiet, but quite enjoyable.

I spent New Year's at J.'s party with J., J., C., and J.C. Damn, I know a lot of Js, don't I? I remained the sober one and drove a tipsy J. home while I listened to my Christmas present: the complete Holler Brigade. Mwahahaha. At last I can truly make fun of M. and his early career as a musician.

New Year's Day was spent visiting Oma and Opa and watching the Twilight Zone marathon (as per tradition). And yesterday was spent mooching around, taking a nice walk around the neighborhood and listening to BBC7's adaptation of His Dark Materials. I kept forgetting that the real title of The Golden Compass is Northern Lights. I actually like Golden Compass better as a title, as it fits in with the rest of the trilogy's titles and the whole materials idea.

Anyway, today I'm having lunch with S., N., and Mimi, whom I'm excited to see as I haven't seen them in a long time. Then I'll be heading to Thai Dee with J. and J. to receive my birthday/Christmas present from J. P. Mmm... can't wait for Thai tea!

Tomorrow I go back to Philly. Meh.

Okay, enough of my incredibly boring update! Time for a shower.

They are in the same categories as usual, but I've tried to make things slightly more specific and quantifiable.

( 2009, Hope You're Better Than The Last )

Thank heavens the world decided to go to hell the year I graduate, and make life even harder, finding and keeping a job less secure, and the environment even more disgusting to live in for the fresh-faced, clueless noob I will be when I get out of school.

Um. That's not very positive, is it?

Let's try again.

Thank heavens I am alive and somewhat well; that I am part of a loving and supportive family; that I have loving and supporting friends who I realize now will always stand by me when I need them and whom I can count on; that I can do my part to help my world, and my home; that even if I don't know what to do with myself, I can still take one day at a time and move slowly and gently forward into a life and work that I can make beautiful.

When I post my 2008 Books and Movie/TV Logs! WHOOOO!

Books includes graphic novels, screenplays, plays and short story collections. I kept my promise too: I didn't reread anything!

Movies includes TV programs (if I watched the whole season) and all the random ones we watched in my various film classes (including shorts). Uh. Yeah. I watched a lot of stuff again.

( 2008 Books Log )

( 2008 Movies/TV Log )

7:23 am, EST time and sunrise is officially at about 7:30. The solstice occurred at 7:04 though it was (and is) too overcast to actually see any sunlight. It is getting greyer outside though.

I'm surprisingly awake and energetic (and not-so-surprisingly crazy) for staying up for over 24 hours straight. That is my usual reaction to not getting sleep: hyperactivity, soon to be followed by major meltdown.

Other factors may have contributed to the current hyper energy, though. The strong tea at 2:00. Or dancing to Christmas music for an hour. Or the belting of Phantom of the Opera lyrics.

Like I said: crazy.


Well, I'm off to hibernate for a while. At least it's disgusting outside, so I don't feel too bad sleeping the day away.

Though it is a little after the fact, I think I should count my blessings, and my loved ones. After all, that's what this holiday is all about--besides the gorging yourself silly, of course.


( I am thankful for... )

Pushing Daisies is cancelled?!


I had such a bad feeling this would happen. It seems that too many shows I love are cut off in their prime. I've been robbed of the cutest couple on television. ROBBED!


*cries*

I would have posted earlier but thanks to the second riot of Philly in just about as many days, I was a little too concerned with trying to sleep than posting.


YES WE DID. YES WE DID. YES WE DID.



Now. Let's get to work.

I'm changing my mind again. I'll be working on my Persephone novelette instead. Ye gods.

Well. At least this will force me into writing something new instead of staring at the bulk of material I already have and being completely overwhelmed and baffled by it.

Honestly, though, it's a very weird feeling to be returning to these projects, or attempting to return to them, and then retreating again--especially since I haven't looked at Wake in several months, and Roger and Will in at least a year. I'm completely surprised at the writing in them. It's like someone else wrote them; someone completely different from me.

And honestly?

Sometimes I find the writing is really, really good.


Which makes me, of course, retreat even further.

Whoa, I'm not ready.

After much hemming and hawing, I've decided not to continue with Wake for NaNo.

Instead, I'll be going back and completely rewriting the first NaNo attempt Roger and Will. And I already have 1039 words!

----a bunch of which are... um... borrowed from the first draft.

So. No new blood to NaNo. It would be cool if I could win with the completed story though.


Why can't I get away from these stories? Argh. I have such a problem with finishing things; it's so difficult because sometimes I have so many ideas I can't get them all out. And then sometimes I just get so overwhelmed by what I have in store for myself my brain just shuts down

That's what happened with Wake. I hate that I've become scared of my own novel, and scared of writing it. I also hate that the terrible typos are back and writing is just so damn difficult to get into. Once I'm there, I'm okay. It's getting there that's so hard.

So, it's back to safety (and some slight cheating) with Roger and Will. Also, I'm running on empty for novel ideas.

It's so weird to think about how things change when it comes to my writing. And not just my style, but my thinking about things as well. Way back when, all I had in me was poetry. A few years ago it seemed there were only novels and epic tales in me. These days I'm churning out screenplays and short stories, but pressed for longer pieces.

Hm. In any case, I may be in danger of not winning, due to general malaise, the alignment of the stars, and just no darn time. Sigh. I guess we'll see what happens!

So the Phillies won. I hid from the revelry, and am only just now being released from my building by the parade (it's moved down Market and is currently on Broad). Ugh. And I stupidly wore a red sweater, not realizing there would be red everywhere today. Oh well. I guess it was an act of providence to better camouflage myself.

I haven't had Internet for about a week, and have to spend Halloween evening waiting for the Comcast guy because, once again, they stood me up. Actually, this time was worse: they showed up, called me, didn't leave a message, and after I called Audrey to run down and let the guy into the building, didn't return my subsequent calls and in the next five minutes just left. Obviously, I was a little miffed. And now, after rescheduling twice, have to wait this evening.

Oh well, I will have a nice supper and watch some MST3K and maybe catch some of the Ghosthunters live show. Hah. What a nerd.

Cosmic Variance

See physicists connect science and gay marriage. Oh what an interwoven world.